A Man’s Guide to Dating-By Daniel Tarzan-English Version
I first met Daniel Tiger Tarzan while surfing through the
WordPress Blogs of the Day-the English Version on
March 25, 2008. Now, you must know the VAST numbers of
‘English-Speaking-Blogging Individuals’ to understand that
you are not JUST dining with Daniel Tiger Tarzan, if you had
the chance. You are dining with one person who is in the
WordPress Top One Hundred Blogs in an ocean of
perhaps ‘Eight Hundred Garbanzo Million English-Speaking-
Here is the Norwegian to English Translation of:
“The Art of Dating” By Daniel Tiger Tarzan
This is to be passed on to my preschool son, Peter.
[‘Tittelen skal ikke lure deg’.]
The title should not deceive you.
I am not saying that there is only one way to get a girl, but,
perhaps, here are some little discoveries disclosing what you
are doing wrong. (Peter….) This is not an imitation of
‘Pornopung’ (New York Times Best Seller?) or any other
books. This is what I have learned as a Psychology Student a
bit at a time and from my own experience. I have written
several blog entries about this, but those have been lost when
I changed blogs.
The problem with most guys is that they don’t dare to
be themselves. We don’t dare to share our feelings. We don’t
dare to say what we think. Let’s toss out this [‘fordommen’].
The next time that you see a girl that ‘wakes you up’
catches your eye, say to yourself, “I can catch that girl”.
I don’t want to hear any of this, ‘She is too beautiful for me
kind of thinking’. You need to go back to the beginning again.
How do you dress? Do you have a outfit that is
[‘særegent’] for you? (becoming or unbecoming?) Do you
always go out in a shirt rather than a sweater? Have you
shaved? Do you always have holey jeans? [‘Går du alltid i
stykker nederste del av buksene dine?’] Are the hems of
your jeans in shreads? Use it! (Not close enough, but I’ll
go with it.) Flaunt it!
Be yourself and act as though you are a special
individual. Tell yourself in the mirror each day that you are
special. Value your own body. Appreciate your body. If you
have [‘kviser’ and ‘arr’], or if you have a ’sixpack’-be proud of
it! Personally, I have some extra benefits [‘paa vekten’], but
I can still easily attract a girl downtown. (Way off?) Make it
fun; get her to laugh. Personally, I just say that I am a
[‘sexylubben’], and I like steak. (What is a sexy lubben?!)
Therefore, the conversation is over if some one mentions ‘the
extra pounds’. Oh, no, I’m not going to have negative
thoughts. “I am not attractive.”, you say. “Bullshit!”, I say. I
can tell you many stories about people that ‘aren’t attractive’
and have still gotten a babe as a ’sweetheart’. It is what you
make of your personal experience. [‘egenskap’] Regardless, if
you talk or if you don’t.
Regardless if you start up a conversation or not.
Let us take a look at this perspective before we start.
Say, for example, you are single, desperate, and are going
out on the town with ‘the boys’. What are you going to do?
Some would say right off the bat, “Don’t be embarrassed over
your self!” “Don’t embarrass your self.” “Don’t overdress.”
“Don’t go overboard.” “Chill out!”
Dress in what you are comfortable in. Definitely take a
shower or two with a mild, masculine cologne behind your
ears for good luck.
(Thanks for the tip, Daniel Tiger Tarzan!)
And, if you use hair gel; only use a spoonful in the palm of
your hand. Start in the back (about the middle of your scalp)
and work towards the ‘luggen’. (Hva er det for noe’?!)
You are not to ‘grease’ your hair, you will ’style it’. Many have
misunderstood this concept here.
(Note to author: How am I doing here? Sandy S. Zoo)
Very good! Look at yourself in the mirror and say that
you are going to get lucky tonight. Give your self a
compliment, and ’straighten’ your self up. [‘Skryt deg selv
But, first a little tip: You need to know that girls will notice if
you are desperate.
Therefore, the road is short between being personally
satisfied to downright desperate. The latter functions nearly
quite well in warmer regions where alcohol has a
strong influence on the ‘chasing’. I am not in favor of this type
of ‘chasing’. You should be relaxed and think about your self,
not what others think of you.
You are now ready for the local ‘bryggeri sine goder’.
You are now ready to hit the local ‘disco clubs’.
You are now ready for the good life.
Chasing women has it’s own unwritten rules. These are
things that you certainly do need to learn on your own.
They can actually teach you/groom you to be better.
I would like to explain to you from a psychologist’s view how
to make you a better ‘chaser’. Many think that a ‘wingman’,
one that is proud of their work in the [‘slagmarken’], is a good
idea. Personally, I think it is pathetic. [‘slagmarken’]
(We call it the meat market.)
Before I begin, I would like to say that if a girl starts a
conversation with you, just continue the same steps, and
[just] take away the first step in my guide to, ah, chasing girls.
Step 1 – Contact
Begin by finding a girl that you think is nice/pretty.
Study her a little bit. Is she with another guy that is her
’sweetheart’, is she engaged or married or some other
[‘skummelheter’] predicament, or is she starting over again?
If we don’t try [‘på sånne’], we’ll do fine. It is also important
to notice what she is drinking. Is she drinking wine; then is
it red or white. Is she drinking beer; then what color and
what kind. Is she having a ‘drink’; then try to notice what she
is drinking. In this way, are you prepared for the
‘potential opportunity to buy her a drink’. After you have
sat for a while, you can begin.
Get over there and introduce your self.
Start with your name.
Then, if you get the cold shoulder, you can try to be a little
bit nonchalant [‘innpåsliten’] but, as a rule, it is a good ’sign’
if it doesn’t go as planned.
(Don’t worry if you don’t connect with this girl; it is probably
a good thing to know now rather than later. Next chapter… )
Sandy says, “This is a work in progress.”
If she, on the other hand, is accepting/inviting and she says
so, you can ask her what she is doing her tonight. Just a little
casual talk. Now, the psychology starts. Now, you need to
[‘skille i hodet ditt’]. Now, you need to take a closer look.
Conversation (very important) and her body language
(of greatest importance) are important. If she is looking at
you when you are talking casually, that is a good sign.
look for something that is called, [‘trekanten’]. Three corners.
It is something so simple that if she looks at you in the
following sequence ‘rekkefolge’: right eye, left eye, and mouth
( about 2-3 seconds on each part) she is interested.
If she leans toward you, she is interested. If she is turned
away from you, she is not so very interested. But hold on,
[‘Står dere’], if her feet are pointing towards you is it a good
sign. If her legs are crossed; it is not a good sign.
This is how you need to analyze the first few minutes that you
are talking to each other.
Second Step -Twenty Questions
No, you should not ask twenty questions. But, the questions
aimed at her shall be ‘hegle’. [‘hegle’] Girls love attention, and
are quite egocentric. (self-centered)
Therefore, the questions should mainly deal with her.
Important points to consider in your mind
should be: job/studies, where she lives, age, interests, what
she likes. But, [‘pass å fella’] be careful here, don’t ask
about her family quite yet. It is important to make an
impression first. Ask general questions. Try to be a little
bit mysterious. (Keep some things to yourself.) If she asks
something about you, quickly turn the conversation back to
her. This is how to maintain the excitement between you.
This is how to maintain the connection between you.
[‘Slik opprettholder du en viss spenning mellom dere.’]
And for God’s sake, look at her the whole time. Lean
forward. Be interested. Let it go on for a few more
Third Step -The Drink and the Other Details
Now, you are going to use the observations in part one,
and ask if you can buy her a drink. Buy her the drink that
you noticed she was drinking before [you sat down].
Now you can ask her about herself, but now you are going
to look for a few more signs. Does she wet/lick her lips
often? Is she playing with her hair? (Is she playing with
your hair by now?!) [‘Tar hun på deg?’] Is she holding on to
you? (leaning in to you….) Try to hold/touch her hand,
especially to show her something that you are saying.
For example, “My, you have long fingers”, placing your hand
next to hers….”
Now you are well on your way. Try to
remember a story where something funny has
happened, and explain with her hands. Contact with the
hands/arms is only positive. Eagerly tell about the things
that are typical of you, that were mentioned in the
introduction. That is, if she hasn’t already discovered it.
Step Four – Her Girlfriends – Your Worst Enemies
Her girlfriends are your best friends-your worst enemies.
Girlfriends of the ‘potential mate’ must not be forgotten.
They are essential parts of your strategy. Talk to them and
create a connection with them. When the girls go to the
‘powder room’ to touch up their lipstick, you can be sure
that they are talking about you. [‘Kan du slenge en tier paa
bordet om at…’] If you make a good impression on the
girlfriends, you are making a good impression on her.
I have a little story about [‘anngående’] such girlfriends.
Earlier in my studies, I was not comfortable with ‘girls’
at all. But, one person that I met, had several catches
[‘kikkerten’] in a row. And, he made a connection almost
instantly. I tried to study him and his ‘chasing’, but I could
never find out ‘what he did right’. After a few days, he was
‘with’ the girl he had pursued, and after he ‘used’ her, she was
dumped. He was a genuine player in other words. Silly me,
I wanted to be like that. After a few cold beers one night,
I asked him about his success with ‘catching a girl’. “You
know”, he said to me, “…all girls have an ugly/mean
girlfriend.” I had to laugh because that is pretty accurate in
“It is her that you need to impress…” I [‘stod’]
like a question mark. What in the world does he mean with
that? [‘Skal du ikke gaa rett paa byttet?’]
Wouldn’t you just be shreaded to pieces?
“This is the way it goes; the ugly/mean girlfriends
tell the nice girlfriends about you, and that
you are [‘en knakende kar’].” (You are a good catch.)
This is how you will easily get the chance to meet the
beautiful/nice girls. “Don’t get too friendly with the
ugly/mean girlfriends”, Danial Tiger Tarzan is saying.
Be careful not to attach yourself too much to the ugly/mean
girls, because it complicates things in relationship to the
Remember that this strategy is laid out on many laps.
Remember that this strategy is laid out in many steps,
and pay attention [‘ryktet går’]. Here it goes:
(The direct translation was a bit funny, I realize.)
Step Five-A Little Closer
The last step is actually up to you. If you use these
simple rules, you will succeed. If you use these simple
rules, you will be happy.
Here’s a little summary:
-Be proud of your [‘saere egenskaper’] and background
-Say positive things to yourself, but don’t go so far as
to be too cocky.
-Be interested in the one you are talking to.
-Show interest the whole time.
Signs that you see that are positive:
-”Three corners” : Right eye, left eye, the mouth.
-Legs are pointing towards you.
-She is facing you.
-She grabs a hold of you.
-She smiles at you.
-She plays with her hair.
-She wets/licks her lips constantly.
(The end or just the beginning…..)
Daniel Tarzan -the Bubble Room ©2008-All Rights Reserved