I have always admired my parents, my grandparents, my

aunts and uncles, and so on. While the other kids were

playing Ping-pong or watching TV, I was probing the lives of

my closest relatives. Who? What? When? Where? Why?

Why not? So many of these “heroes” are bubbling over into

my life. I am remembering what they once told me OR

what they what showed me. One thing that I have struggled

with over the years is- saying goodbye. I have admired my

“heroes” and how they could courageously, kindly, boldly say,

“Goodbye.” Now, after some pretty teary goodbyes, and

after reliving a lot of goodbyes, I came to an “ah, hah!”

moment. Dr. Eleanor Torstveit said that there would be

some of these. I describe them as hurricanes or tornado

moments. A lot of thoughts spinning around and around and

thrashing and yelling and whimpering and stomping and then-

then, comes the answer. [Not literally, but, figuratively

speaking.)God never intended that we

would live forever. We are born, we live and we die. I missed

the last part. I never intended to say, “Goodbye” to any

of my dearest friends and relatives. Guess what. It’s going

to happen. The phrase, “Get used to it.”, does not sit well

with me. So, what if I don’t or can’t or will never accept

death. Oh, my. That is going to be one rough ride. Well,

how about it we take baby steps. Though grim, I think of

what the world would be like with people walking around

or strolling around or rolling around when they are

100, 200 or 300 years old. The Norwegians would say,

“Oofda!” I would just say that that is a scary thought.

So, we are born, we live and we die. That is just too grim

for me. How about if we were born in to a family with

poverty and abuse. How about if we live in constant fear

or pain or disgust. What if we knew at any time that this

could be the LAST DAY.

My new kind of understanding is that:

We don’t know.

I have always wondered if the Tree of Good and Evil, or

the Tree of Knowledge was: feeling that we needed to know

everything or thinking that we were IN CHARGE of the

world and every circumstance. Each day, I think that I

get closer to understanding.

We are NOT in charge. If we have the idea that we MIGHT

be in charge, we will be corrected sooner or later.

Something else is making the world go around.

A HIGHER POWER sounds like a pretty good idea to

me because, I can’t do this alone. Facing the loss of

someone so close and so dear to me is really quite

earth shattering. However, throughout time- people

are being born, people are living and breathing and people

are dying every day. This carousel keeps going round

and round and round and it hasn’t stopped yet. Welcome

to earth. You will not SURVIVE this experience.

Well, thanks for sharing! Accept it or live in denial.

This is it. As long as you are HERE, you may as well

enjoy it. Let someONE else do the driving and enjoy

the scenery. This is it. This is life. Isn’t life grand.

Amen~